A yay and a nay…

As we talk to the doctors, he waits in the silence of the unknown.

There is a moment that stops time completely.

What did the MRI say?

Silence

And then the words that I had hoped for….

“No growth”

Those two words are powerful. They have the ability to make me fly!

And I did!

I felt as if I was high above the Duke Brain Tumor clinic. High above the roof tops of all of Durham.

Much like I picture him.

He’s my Superhero.

The man that can do anything and everything, right?

But as I look at him right this moment…he’s alone.

What happens to our superhero after the big fight?

In movies you never see when Batman goes home and takes off the cape. Slips into his pajamas and goes to bed.

When he wakes up, stretches, pained from his fight and starts his day.

That’s what has happened to my superhero.

He sleeps in his chair.

Slumbers in loneliness.

The fight is over and it’s time to go home.

Only my superhero’s fight isn’t over.

He will fight until the end.

And, according to his doctors, the end isn’t near.

Great, right?!

Yes and no.

No because of the fact that everyone has left him.

Forgotten that his fight continues.

The excitement of his surgery and his post op infection is over.

And now he’s alone.

Why?

I don’t know.

I hurt for him.

I fold his cape and he slips into a painful sleep.

When he wakes he screams.

He hurts.

He hurts so bad that he wants to give up.

Wishes he’d never had his first surgery and had left the tumor in his brain to ravage his function.

He screams for it to stop.

But, does anyone hear him?

NO.

They’ve moved on.

Ones who told him that they loved and cared about him have gone away.

And he sits in this house and listens to a silent phone.

It amazes me how many people told him that they loved him and cared about him and would stay by his side.

I BELIEVED them.

He BELIEVED them.

And now he’s a man fighting alone.

He’s slipped into a dark place.

It must be the place that Batman goes to after the Joker dies.

Silent.

Unknown.

He gets the job done, but still feels as if somethings missing.

And there is.

I wish I could fill this void for my superhero, but I can’t.

All I can do is hope that they hear me.

I wish I lived in a world where my love was enough.

Where I, alone, could fill his heart.

But, as much as I want to, I can’t.

I am not enough.

But, you are.

And you left.

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One thought on “A yay and a nay…

  1. Patricia Flick says:

    That was beautiful and you are so right, sometimes it does happen that people leave after coming together and it makes you sad. One of the important things is that they did come together and I believe that alot probably meant what they said and will be back around. People have to adjust too. The great thing is, if they don’t, he knows know, the difference in the people and focus on the ones that did come back and their bond will be even stronger!!!.. Thanking God that the worst is over and praying that everyday there is a positive change in this second part of healing. Many prayer’s to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

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