One Week Later: A day in the life of a CANCER patient

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A day in the life of a cancer patient is just like the day of any person really. All except for that one thought in the back of their mind. “Is today the day that I become the past?”

We all do it. We wake up. Go about our days and never once think about the day that someone will refer to you in the past tense. “So and so WAS so nice. So and so WAS a good friend.” It never occurs to us to think that way. We haven’t been told that something foreign is invading our bodies or our brains. We go on about our day and are blissfully unaware of our own mortality.

Why do we do this? Because it’s easier. Because no one wants to talk about the end. Hell, we barely want to talk about the future. Much less, the end.

But to a cancer patient, the future is the end and now is all you have.

6:00 AM

Wake up. I hurt. I hurt bad. “What hurts?” Everything.

6:15 AM

So many pills. Do I need this many pills? “Yes, honey. Just take them two at a time”

6:45 AM

I’m starting to feel less pain. Is that right or am I still in a fog from sleep?

7:00 Am

OK. Pain is controlled. Not gone. Controlled.

7:30 AM

More pills? “Yes, honey. They are your steroids, remember?”

8:00 AM

I’ll drink this coffee and think about what to do with all of the junk under the carport “Honey, time for your medicine.”

8:45 AM

Should I blow off the driveway? I should blow off the driveway.

9:00 AM

I’m going to blow off the driveway

9:30 AM

Blow off the driveway

10:00 Am

Driveway looks great! “Honey, time for your medicine.”

10:30 AM

I’m going to get this junk out from under this carport!

11:00 AM

Damn, my carport looks nice!

11:30 Am

Come look at the work I’ve done! “Honey, you’ve done too much, again and it’s time for your medicine.”

12:00 PM

“Medicine, love!”

1:00 PM

What a nice conversation I just had on the phone! My speech is getting a little better…at least I think that it is?

2:00 PM

“Do you need medicine right now, love? One or two? Whichever you need.”

2:30 PM

 “I wish you’d take a nap!” I wish she’d just leave me alone. I’ll sleep when I damn well snnoorreeeeeeee……….

3:30 PM

“Here comes the steroid train! Choo Choo!” Oh my God she’s a dork, but you gotta love her.

4:30 PM

“You need to eat something.” I’m not hungry.

5:15 PM

I’m so hungry. What’s for dinner?!

6:00 PM

“It’s pain medicine time, love. Do you need any?” Just one this time. Just one.

7:00 PM

“Time to clean your staples. They look so good!!” How can staples look good?

7:30 PM

“Time for my muscle man to take his steroids!!” Wow. The woman will do anything to try and make me laugh.

8:00 PM

I think I’ll watch TV

8:30 PM

There’s nothing on TV

9:00 PM

Yes! Harry Potter on ABC Family! Score!

10:00 PM

“Anti seizure medicine and pain meds if you need them” Just Anti seizure for now, thank you

10:00 PM

Sleepy Time

12:00 AM

whisper “honey, it’s time for your medicine. here’s your water. i love you.” Ok, ugh.

2:00 AM

whisper “honey, it’s time for your medicine. here’s your water. i love you.” Ok, ugh.

3:30 AM

whisper “honey, it’s time for your medicine. here’s your water. i love you.” Ok, ugh.

6:00 AM

Wake up. I hurt. “Where do you hurt, love?” Every damn where.

What will you do today? What will your choices be? Will you choose to stay complacent or will you look outside yourself and reach? Reach for that one thing that’s been in the back of your mind for years? Step outside your comfort zone and break the mold? I think you should. I know you should.

Because one day, all of our names will be used in the past tense.

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